My Comment to a Post on Another Blog

I was referred to a post on some other blog today and the friend that sent me the link knew that I would have something to say about it, dont you love when your friends know you too well :).


I decided to revive my old blog that I just used to ramble on, as comments boxes make typing a large response often complicated , and as some of you know, punctuation when Im passionate about something usualy doesnt get invited to the party.


What I read was a mixed bag and as I have often seen in blog posts or chat conversations by people that dislike it , many many mix ageplay with sexual perversion, thats not fair or informative.. as in every single lifestyle choice in SL and other online games/chat whichever , there are abusers.

Fortunatly in SL and economy run worlds, its alot harder to actualy be underage and not be eventualy found out, so I'd like to believe that at least the strong majority of ageplayers in SL are over 18.

I have very important to me friends in SL that ageplay , in the sense that they have taken on the form of smaller avs, many of them are furries so they are cubbies, and well in cubbie form its a lot less graphic I think than as a skin (thats what I call us non furries as human sounds silly ) .

So now I'll address the blog post and maybe shed a different perspective on it , who knows.


"They proceeded to have this father-daddy daughter-princess conversation in open chat laden with sexual innuendos."

That is if sexual in nature 'abuse' if a male or female wish to be a child avatar and play adult games with adult avatars, that is wrong by far, no exceptions..not only on the side of the adult avatar but also the one that is representing a child and 'that' is what I believe is and was regarded as needing to be stamped out in SL .

I do not know any child avatars that play sexualy in SL ...and all of my friends know that it wouldnt be tolerated, we have discussed this in the past when all the demonstrations were happening to save ageplay .

"I know there was a lot of hoopla about the child porn in SL not too long ago. Why do vendors still cater to child avatars? I see skins, hair, clothing, poses (ewww), and even jewelry. Heck, Alienbear Gupte has a whole store dedicated to kid jewelry. "

Never in all my time in SL have I seen Child Porn , I would flip the hell out , skins are for the majority adult skins on child av's , I actualy wish there were more child skins made so that they didnt look so alarming , but actualy just looked like children , its very bizarre looking at a little girl who has on a skin you yourself own and know is anatomicly correct.

I have also never seen poses not in all the times I have visited children themed stores, so I am wondering if that is confusing 'tiny' poses with childrens ones as they are different things , I am not saying there arent but , that realy suprised me so Id love elaboration on that one.

AlienBear I met as a child av nearly a year ago at work, she was a cute little girl and spoke to me professionaly about her jewelry store which "Isn't" only for children it is a mix of Childrens and Adults Jewelry , and I would pretty much assume, that as she loves beautiful things just started crafting items for herself and her friends and that possibly from then people wanted them as gifts for their own children , but that is an assumption I am not sure about , but NOTHING is wrong with her making adorable little pieces that can be given as presents .


"That's just messed up. Personally, I think if someone has the need to be a child avatar as an adult, Linden Labs can make a whole new grid just for them to work out their issues."


This one is the one that got me going ..."Issues" ?? pretty harsh assumption that just because you dress as a child and do childlike activities you have issues .

Thing is children and cubbies I know , shop like everyone else , hang out socialy and chat all day like everyone else , they are limited to where they can go as they are persecuted but also many many of them have respect for what would be seen as appropriate behavior, examples being that if I go shopping and tp one or more in and we dont know the lay of the land and realise that there is an 'adult' community sex wise or things of that nature , we leave or they do , they do not intrude on what is other peoples right to experience.

"I'll take furries, goths, drows, nekos, vamps, gors and even assholes over child avatars."


Being an asshole is nature , the rest are seen as lifestyle choices as is ageplay of the non sexual variety...the thing is that for many 'lifestyle' choices are natural , they are able to be what feels right for them on the inside, how they express that is also their right.

It's been a year since I first befriended a cubbie, and I have watched how many of them are, what makes them tick so to speak.
I am not a psychiatrist or a health professional in any way shape or form, but I would think if one was asked their opinion on this they might actualy deem it healthy, that in a virtual world they are releasing their inner child , showing that they need support , love , guidance etc .

I recently had a RL discussion with my mother and a neighbouring business owner to her own , about the fact that our local Mayor wears a metal choker 'all the time' *grins* I told them that perhaps she was 'collared' that she was a submissive and not afraid to wear it in public .

The response from both was 'oh no she is too strong too tough not her no way " my mum and I have had lengthy discussions on D/s so I pfft'd her lol ...those that know will also agree that many many real submissives are strong, are very intelligent and highly motivated people , and that some of them lead very very high profile and proffesional lives in public .

That is and can be very very stressful for many to do day in and day out, some can be submissive by nature, and then there are some that embrace submission to balance that out , as in when they come home they hand over the load to a loved one , their Dominant perhaps.

To me ageplay is a form of that also, life is hard , we experience pressures and pain and dissapointment at an alarming rate in RL and sometimes that happens very early on in life , some had to grow up very fast ...and to make it clear not all in SL are under 30, some are well past that and grew up in very different generations and with very different educations and worse is that many had to grow up too fast that they didnt get much education at all , by having to leave school to support families, possibly because of parental loss etc .

To be able to walk in your door RL after a hard day at the office, being everyones shoulder, having the weight of your world on yours, being responsible for the welfare of employees and their families and so on , its not inconceivable to me that one would want to log into SL and be a princess, or a dragon or just a little cubbie.

Thing is also in SL we expect ALOT from adult avatars, the grid in just the year and a bit I have been here has changed into complete ,what are you providing for us mentality for many , do you design , do you create , what is your purpose ?? personally I think the children/cubbie avs have got you all pegged , because no one is making demands on them to make things or contribute , they just get to be.

A comment on the blog said "I CAN'T STAND when the kids try to talk to me in kid talk"

Ok that cracks me up, because other than 'yesh' every child or cubbie I know in SL speaks exactly the same way as an adult , now if you think hard though , how about all the 'adults' in SL that talk baby ??? how many times do you go shopping and hear those gestures of 'SISSSSSSSSSSY I love you sissy " and any number of other text banter that is hard to understand at the best of times , it is not the ageplayers that have the monopoly on baby talk , not at all .

"This whole episode made me think about another aspect of this in SL that has been nagging at me. Family in Second Life. “Oh Tina, I want to introduce you to my SL Mom…she’s so great” or my favorite, “Yeah, he’s hot, but he’s my SL Grandpa so he’s kind of off limits”. What the bloody hell?? Then you take a gander at their profiles…they’ve got the whole family bush in there!
I can kind of understand the SL sister thing. I don’t get the brother thing and I really get grossed out about the rest of the family thing. It just doesn't sit right. In fact, business-wise in SL, if I see the family tree in their profile, I tend to not take them serious at all."

I dont understand how you "kind of understand the sister thing but not the others ??" again woudl love elaboration on that one , a lot of the sister stuff is Gor and D/s Poly but anyway .

My cubbie and skin childsized friends have parents in SL , there are actualy adoption agencies , which struck me as very bizarre in the begining ....child avs having parents isnt so strange as we would probably find it a lot less acceptable if the children didnt..if they owned condos and drove cars and things like that in sl then it could be a bit odd lol .

Thing is I also grew to understand the need for it from their point of view, they want a sense of what they might not have in RL , people that unconditionaly care for them , no ifs or buts ...I need you your my family you are there for me and i am there for you , its pretty tempting when not ridiculed , yes some get carried away and some again 'abuse' it .

I have one cubbie friend who's parents dumped him because he wouldnt stop talking to a friend who the mum had had a fight with , he was devastated that his SL mum decided it was pick me or get out , and yes I ripped her a new one in group chat for all to see , but he has gone on to a better family now so it worked out well, he is loved he is cared for, and that is all I care about .


* There are actualy RL families in SL I know of two large designers stores that are actualy RL family , so by 'not taking them seriously" you are missing out on very good quality items and also making very big assumptions based on a profile .

* Culture plays a huge part in it also, we are an international grid , and watching an American/Chinese movie with subtitles the other day I was reminded that in some (im not assuming all) Asian cultures its a respect thing to call an adult of a mature age 'Auntie or Uncle" they did it in the movie and we have a huge Asian population here in Australia and I have seen in happen in RL too .

I was raised to not call non family memebers by family titles, but my Mums BF's daughter called every adult friend of her dads Aunt or Uncle ...and by doing so their kids her cousins.
Also all of my RL friends had children young , so their children have become close to all of us that are friends, and sometimes the lines of that got blurry, as you end up becoming friends with the next generation also , and some families to balance that out also have titled their friends so that the kids had structure.

I dont personaly allow it, but it does warm my heart when a good friend tells me her 5 children were raised to regard me as family and that if they every need anything that their parents cant provide or help them with , that they might need to talk to someone about things they are going through they know they can always come to me .

All of that crosses over, you cant drop RL at the connect button, as much as we would like to think that we can, its not possible to completely lose what is built into your personality and upbringing , even the adult play comes from the same place , its just that we often use the 'I couldnt do this at home' option rather than the 'this is how I am at home ' lol .

I guess what Im trying to say is , please dont write off a person you have no understanding of what makes them tick, your only suffering a loss yourself , I love my friends in SL big or small they enrich my life everyday.

Being in a virtual world means we have to visualise everything and that does change things to some degree, but its your eyes that shouldnt rule your head or heart , let people feel and need what they want too, as long as its not abuse so be it.

This is not your world its everyones and to say that they should be made their own grid is sad , or to only be allowed in pg sims , thing with that is that the way search is listed many sims were rated M by LL not by the owners , M doesnt mean only adults can be there its just a warning that mature content may be involved and by the fact that we are all supposed to be over 18 to be in world means they can be anywhere they choose to be .

But again like I said , I dont know any that would be in areas that would be sexualy mature content and those are the only ones they should steer clear of and not just because kids shouldnt be there , but so that the people playing dont feel uncomfortable bouncing on a poseball lol.

I hope that that helped someone understand from a different angle, it sure helped me to get it off my chest or Id be steaming for days over it lol .

Ok just went to add to the blog post and there is a new comment by the owner of the site

"Lothian Utorid said... Hmm...I would guess people with 'Daddies' use that as an excuse to do the naughty without any suspicion from their regular partners. The people in these pics are all partnered, and makes that whole daddy/girl thing all the more questionable.They are not your family, you freaks. They are people who you met on the internet."


The old saying you can choose your friends not your family comes into play about now , in SL we can if we choose to , but to make out like people met on the internet are less important than people you could meet RL is a worry too , please let me know if I misunderstood that comment , because that would be a whole new post :)


xoxox Sasy xoxo